Wednesday 1 May 2013

Day 17 - Great news! All new Snail Tales...

Bonjour mon folks,

I have woken feeling so happy with the world, and as long as I don't think too much that is how I plan to stay. I cruised the midnight waves and finally finished my fifth book (Slowman by literary giant J M Coetzee - very good!) And fell into a deep slumber.

Thus I was all springy and awake this morning, ready for May 1st pinches and punches, giggles and mischief. Well I don't know about you but I love to start a month productively, with everything spick and span and looking lovely. So the studio had a spring clean (ah the joys of having a tiny pad, it takes no time at all), gave myself a scrub and realised that i must have fallen asleep in a weird patch of cloud as I have burnt right bum and thigh (still sore), burnt left under arm and burnt right ear and neck. Hmm not looking like the most fashionable lobster at the moment. Anyway covering the burnt bits as best I could I ventured to the market for mushrooms and who should I spot on the way but a new friend!

His name is Gregory and he is very grumpy. He doesn't like the fact I have noticed him living in the fern outside my studio, and reminded me as such; "we are neighbours, nothing more, and I prefer to be a private neighbour at that!". Well that's his view, I have other plans and decided to make it a challenge to change his mind and invite him round for a lovely meal (no dont jump to the awful conclusion that I'm going to eat him, and sshh he doesn't know about Mersoir Escargot!). Anyway Plan A of operation friendly neighbour was to go to the jardineir and buy lots of nice smelling herbs and pretty flowers, which I then planted in studio garden. I then as nonchalantly as I could mentioned to him I was having  tossed salad, of basil (two sorts), ray, thyme citrine, rosemary, mint and fingers crossed a strawberry of my new plant, and would he like to join me? Honestly if snails had teethmI'm sure I heard them grate. His reply, " how do you English say it...er bugger off!". So fine, be like that Gregory, see if I care, I will eat my salad on my own and add cous cous too. Its not like I'm losing my marbles or anything and making up snail stories just to amuse myself.

Anyway having eaten my lunch in my lovely little garden, I noticed a very handsome fellow looking at me intently. Sat by my door I have no idea how I missed him except I'm ridiculously unobservant and was likely still upset from being snubbed by Gregory.  Anyway he is tanned, has lovely long eyes that blink in the sunlight and a wonderfully large caramel brown mobile home. He introduced himself as Francis and we had a delightful natter about the garden and the struggles of learning French without practising lots. He travels a lot and is quite the free spirit but I shall just enjoy his company while it lasts. Also given he is happiest on my door he has offered to stand guard. What a gentleman :-) This made me rather nostalgic as I used to have a guard snail in my cabin on the Isle of Man. Best part of two years Snail stuck tight to the ceiling above my door. And would you guess it I never had a single robbery or bump in the night. Great little guard snail he was.

Anyway moving the conversation away from snails. I should get one with some French and give some thought to what I'm going to do with myself. I left the gallery almost 6 months ago, and despite coming up with numerous hair brained ideas I have yet to settle on anything. So many choices, so little brain capacity and decisiveness. I shall let you know how I get on lol

2 comments:

  1. Hey Maria I am only just catching up with your blogs again - have had blog-worthy week myself if I had time to write about it! (but plan to catch you up in long message shortly!!) I was SO happy the title of this blog - 'all new snail tales' - I really think you could branch out into snails as well as your Erna stories. I was very pleased to hear about your conversations with your new friends even the grumpy one and was on the floor laughing (sorry!) about your guard snail. You are the ONLY person I know who has had a guard snail.... :)
    Right - onto next blog - very exciting!! :)
    xxx Wizbear

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    1. Lol yes, rather an odd childhood memory. Can't understand why anyone would want to kill the poor snails, surely it is better if you must, to create a snail nursery filled with wonderful yummy delights, preferably the other side of your garden from where you are growing veg, and them relocate them? Hmm think this might be against snail rights though...

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