Sunday 8 July 2012

Maria and Markles have a meeting...

So I've been reading 'Red' magazine for middle aged women who desires to learn about life past 35, gum disease and tesco nappy vouchers. Within all that goodness I also came across an article on weekly relationship meetings. In our hectic lives how can we be expected to know/remember what the other half is doing. Supposedly it is not sufficient to just presume they are at home with Jasper or at the gallery sneaking cake.


Well we need to know this for definate and given we are a pair of sadcases with nothing better to do on a Sunday evening we (well I) decided to schedule our first weekly meeting.

Our Agenda:

1. Jasper
2. Holiday
3. Money
4. Moose
5. AOB

Already we are stumbling as other couples discuss weekly evening plans, fun times, relationship things etc. We struggled to come up with 5 things and added Moose to the agenda.

So issue 1. Jasper

After a very brief nod that Jasper who had just accidently spunked on our bed while chewing on my tights was obviously well and happy. The discussion progressed onto the getting Jasper a friend. I have long been pro another dog, and Mark is in the opposite camp. We thus handled the argument like grown ups and drew up a table:


Pros
Cons
Jasper friend
More work for Markles (he is semi retired anyway)
Extra Love
More hassle for Markles (though less than a standard job)
Marginal extra destruction
Possible dog conflicts
Marginal extra maintenance
Marginal extra destruction
Marginal extra cost
Marginal extra maintenance
Possible breeding program
Marginal extra cost
Humpy friend for Jasper
Nothing stops Maria nagging for long
Will teach him to share

Sufficient supply of sticks in the garden

Will make Maria happy

Will stop Maria nagging for another dog

Goes part way towards Maria’s plan of being a mad old dog lady

It’s not a cow

It’s not a baby

Jasper is the right age (the breeders told me)



As you can see it was a sure victory for Maria and we will soon be procuring another dog. Markles is not happy with this but the table speaks no lies (despite what Markles may say).



Action - Buy 2nd dog


Issue 2 - Holidays


Ok so despite both loving travelling and wanting to visit every continent there are a few undeniable problems with Crutchley holidays:


  • Maria always gets ill
  • Maria never takes time off
  • Maria can’t take time off
  • Holidays are expensive
Thus to takle this we came up with the following solutions:

  • Take short breaks when Maria has 2 days off in a row
  • Maria has emailed over the Rota for Markles information
  • Take 2 weeks off in November ( 1 week in Norwich - which will be cheaper and where illness will hopfully come out before main holiday - 1 week in Marrakesh)
  • Possible holiday in August if new recruit found

Action - eat vitamins, stay aways from lurgies, book something and make the most of it regardless

Issue 3 - Money

3.1 Maria has no clue about how money comes in or out of the house, it must be magic!

3.2 Pension man wants to talk to Maria, Maria only knows she wants to be a mad old dog lady with sufficient funds for this aim.

3.3 How to spend Marias incremental earnings (Markles birthday present took the majority. Correction all of it, Markles has just explained evil tax system!)

Action:
  • Markles to educate Maria on monetary flows of household
  • Maria to schedule meeting (ermm next year? – boring meeting – thus highlighting why Maria has no idea)
  • Markles to provide pension wisdom and attempt to realign Maria’s old age life plan to something more sane. (Markles has suggested I become a mad old bag lady – thus I replied for practise I need a new mulberry. Markle’s shakes head and draws my attention to point 3.1 – Maria’s lack of household money knowledge.
Side note – Maria is having fun and exclaims, “this is fun we should have a weekly meeting more often”.

Mark replies “what like every week you mean”


Issue 4 - Moose

Found on pants; and undies. Maria needs to go on holiday to (cold) location in order to see moose in the wild. Maria wishes they lived in hot places. To see baby moose and mummy moose in wild would be amazing!!! Markles is bragging cause he has seen it. Stupid Markles.

Action - Buy 2 teddy moose and use icing sugar to create 'cold' habitat. Maria to observe through kitchen window

Issue 5 - AOB

Meeting suspended while Markles watches the Tour de France. Stupid Markles.

Markles comes back and suggests we have covered a lot of stuff and we dont want to burn ourselves out.

Action - next meeting scheduled for next very bored evening (sometime next week preferably)

Meeting adjourned.

 Maria and Markles