Do you hear me Commander Womb? for Tim Toni Harrison

This one is for Tim Toni Harrison, it's totally random and made me marvel at the oddity of my brain. I'm sure neither of your little boys are like this lol

Today my two year old, who doesn't say much, said "That's enough, I've had it! No more molly coddling and wandering about in this ridiculous nappy, I'm off!"

Sam seethed. He was a quiet boy who said little but thought lots. He sucked his dummy hard and pondered intently the world to which he had been born.

Womb commander had lied, blatantly lied. This mission was clouded by plush toys,  garish colours and giggling subordinates his mother made him sit with at 'playgroup'. Oh how it infuriated him. Why would he want to play in a group? Far better to take control of the only useful thing, the mobile.  Cleverly disguised as a plastic toy, his mum had thought it cute the way he held it to his ear and babbled in it at such an early age. Fair enough he had learnt the action from her, but he was not babbling. This was Morse code, a special strand of which only those like him knew.

"Abort mission" he had signed "world sterile of use"

He had heard nothing back, no instruction,  no rescue mission, nothing. And so he had sat, and thought, and sat some more. What to do...until it clicked.

"I'm going to amass the most brilliant minds amongst this sorry lots of dribblers and take over" He chuckled to himself already giddy on power. He was no charismatic leader, his approach lay in bribery and bullying. Of course taking candy from a baby is easy, how else had he amassed so much? It was keeping the blighters from crying that was the hard part, though shiny stuff seemed to work.

Armed with sweets he sat in the centre and waited for them to descend. And there he played God.  To those he deemed worthy, he gave sweets, to those he didn't, just the shiny wrapper. If they kicked up a fuss and he liked their attitude more sweets. All he needed now were friends. Allies.  And how quickly friendships form at this impressionable age, especially when chocolates involved.

The bigger kids started work on a fort. One brave girl led the playgroup manager to an office to look at her teddy. Sam ordered the giant soft squares be brought against the doors, trapping them both. 'Its a sacrifice of war' he mused.

Likewise with the main doors. They were barricaded. No one should come, no one should go. This playgroup was now his kingdom within which he held his subjects.

Except of course in every playgroup there is a gobbler. A kid for whom chocolate and sweets are not a desire but a need. Tommy's eyes had lit up, his mouth salivating at the prospect of all that chocolate.  Of course Sam had put it in the protection of the only diabetic child. The one whose mum had brainwashed her into believing all candy was bad candy. But everyone has their price, and Tommy knew hers.

The secret weapon- rice pudding.

"Want to share a bowl with me" Tommy said wafting the bowl under Jazzies nose (fancy naming a diabetic child after a sweet!). She didn't blink, fixated on the bowl, they sat and she ate, until the inevitable nap time. Jazzie dozed, Tommy did not. Sam was too busy lording it above. King of the Castle and all that nonsense.

At the base of the fort the treasure glistened. Red, yellow and some other others Tommy couldn't remember. He sat, he munched. He munched some more and then he stopped. Creeping to the treasures edge he whispered, "Want some?"

The passing child jumped, startled,  "what?"

"Some treasure, not just a wrapper, some real treasure" said Tommy.

And so it continued, as every child passed, a whisper, "want some? Shh don't tell, its a secret"

And soon Sam's kingdom thinned for there nestled right below him were his subjects. All happy, all munching, all equal. But what of Sam?

He had presumed them sleeping and yet that faint rustling sound, what was that?

"My chocolate! " he suddenly roared, springing to his feet and sliding down the castle walls.

"Treason, Rotten treason, the lot of you! I will make you pay for this!" screamed Sam

20 eyes blinked back at him. " Or you could just join us?" Said Tommy.

Sam stared. There in front of him, equal piles of sweets. The wrappers in the centre, some of which had been made in to pretty things.

"Hmm seems this world does have its uses" he mumbled into his mobile before sitting down to join them.

The End