One eyebrow or Two for Debbie Reed

Into double figures and I couldn't for the life of me remember your eldests name. So sorry! Do tell me and I can change it :-) Hope you like it.

I'm only wearing one eyebrow today said Debbie, I'm sick of all this yummy mummy stereotyping. Damn it I will prove you can look good regardless!

In an instant it was gone, and in front of the mirror stood a mini Picasso. If symmetry is beauty then Debbie was hell bent on changing that view.

Her eldest son gave her a look of pure horror, 'no mum, seriously no you can't. All my friends are going to be there and they have only just stopped teasing me about your 'hip' one rolled up trouser leg stunt. Can you not just, not embarrass me for one day!"

He stormed off, crashing up the stairs, slamming his door shut, wishing it would for once fall off its hinges. God knows it had been slammed enough.

"It's not all about YOU! " hollered Debbie up the stairs

She had done it on a whim, a spare wax strip, a slightly unpreened eyebrow, and suddenly into her mind had flashed Sheila. Stupid Sheila, all boobs and no brain. She still had her model looks and was easily the best eye candy for every dad at parents evening, the school gates or what ever other reason they could think of to hang about on the off chance of a quick glimpse. Why were men so stupid? Why did they always go after the dumb blond with big boobs?

Looking back in the mirror Debbie flinched. Hmm maybe we have eyebrows for a reason? Maybe it would look better if I got rid of both? Maybe symmetry is better? Still why shouldn't she do these things, push the boundaries, make people think about what true beauty really meant?  If she'd had daughters would they have understood her better?

Probably not. After all they would still have been teenagers.  Surely it's a teenagers job to be mortified by every little thing their mum does or says? And god don't ever try to show them affection in public, their every fibre screams at them to kick you. Only the really good kids resist the temptation.

"O.k. I will do you a deal" her son stood in the doorway hiding something behind his back. "In return for going to that awful ladies lunch thing on Saturday, that you know I would rather be dead than attend, why don't you wear this?"

"A scarf? Yeh fine, its mine, I like it"

"Cool, just say you've got cancer, but not breast cancer, I don't want them talking about your boobs. Say its liver or something."

"What!" Debbie stood jaw gaping "You want me to pretend I've got cancer? What sort of sick person do you think I am?" She was fuming

"I told you, a liver patient..." he was trying to be funny but quickly thought better of it.

"Not on your nelly! I brought you up better than that. We are going to this football match and I'm wearing one eyebrow whether you like it or not. You shouldn't be so precious, they are only silly young boys, probably not half as silly as you can be!". Debbie threw the scarf on the sofa, and grabbed her bag, car keys and water bottle in a single swift movement that only mums truly perfect.

Trudging very slowly after her, Adam grumbled to himself, 'Great, those silly young boys will be kicking the shit out of me later!". Why did he have to have his mum for a mum? None of the other mums were so bloody odd and so purposely trying to ruin their sons life!

As soon as they arrived Adam scarpered as far as possible away from her. His friends had done much the same with their parents and so two distinct groups had inevitably formed. The youngsters on the pitch and the old folk hovering on the side lines.

"Why all the fire engines?"  Said Debbie to Gail, Percy's mum

"Did he not tell you? Its a charity match,  raising money for fire safety or something. Anyway plenty of dishy firemen wandering about. What happened to your eyebrow?"

"Oh god! No, oh...I had an accident..hard to explain." Debbie desperately tugged on her hair. "Is it obvious?"

"Er...not so much..." said Gail, her face betraying her

"Of all the days!" Debbie was cursing Adam, and cursing herself more.

Stuff the moralled principles, even a fool knows two eyebrows are better than one at pulling Firemen!

The End