Bananas in the Sky for Helen Marshall

I was so looking forward to writing this one, and it has turned into a sort of political comedy. I hope you like it Helen :-)

Bananas were falling falling from the sky. Little green ones, big yellow ones and the occasional squidgy brown one.

There on the streets of Norwich the opportunists gathered each displaying their own strand of human nature.

The 'money makers' collected as many green ones as their hands could carry, with the hope this was a one off fluke event (a fair guess given nothing similar had ever been reported,  at least not in Norwich). With any luck they could store them and sell them on for a profit.

The 'live for today' types caught a falling banana and wandered on with their day, munching as they went.

The 'make do and mend' generation along with the 'earthy' types saved the poor brown ones and scurried back to their kitchens to make banana loaf for fear they be wasted.

Rebellious oiks jumped and squished them, before a scolding from their parent or any other person who deemed it disrespectful.

The puppet man swapped his mic for a banana and continued his slow dance with Sweep.

And the odd doomsday preacher cried 'Repent repent, for God has sent us a plague!'. Well its not the most obvious choice for any God but hey, each to their own. Actually its quite a funny concept to think of god sat on his cloud throwing bananas, shouting 'and that's for you Helen - teach you to stand and crush my heavenly snail creation!'. How very vengeful.

Anyway, there was of course another group of people. The group who just stood, transfixed and pondering, why on earth are bananas falling from the sky?

A cargo plane perhaps? The pilot accidentally pressing the 'release hold' button? Perhaps he fell asleep? Had a heart attack? Or more likely if its a virgin plane, a misconduct with one of those shapely air hostesses? Hmm what to wonder?

Perhaps the Russians or the North Koreans? They were always prone to strange antics. An attack? Fruit warfare? Each banana injected with a slow release poison. A mass extinction by fruit, who would guess it?

But no the cargo plane is the more likely. Unless...

A new Labour campaign?  Equality to all. Everyone should have the right to free banana? Surely a branch of the new NHS reforms, in a fight against obesity? Hmm but aren't bananas one of the more calorific of fruits? Maybe melons were too big. Too high a risk of death by plummeting melon. And berries to soft? Instead of your five a day, a trip to the dry cleaners as they explode on contact with your cream coat?

Nah its got to be the cargo plane, and yet perhaps...

A left wing animal rights group, or Greenpeace? They are always pulling daft stunts. Who was it I read about, Greg?Hank? Something like that. Anyway some new gorilla plucked from the wild and plonked in the local zoo. Always a contention. Fair play though, at the cost of wasting rather a lot of bananas they should get their media coverage, and the gorilla will be happy, or at least happier.

You've guessed it I'm one of those people just standing in my garden pondering, although I am a little peckish so I'm going to hope I'm wrong about the Russians and eat one. Mm tasty, no trace of poison, not that I can taste anyway.

Yeh I'm bound to be right, its a cargo plane lost its load.

Radio news: ' The news at 10 o clock. A cargo plane has accidentally discharged its load showering the town of Norwich with bananas.  The virgin plane was due to land in Heathrow but experienced a difficulty. A virgin spokesman said it was unclear at the moment what had happened but a full investigation would take place. Reports on the ground have said there have been no fatalities,  although one elderly lady was left with a slight concussion, and ice cream sales have risen rapidly as locals clamour to make banana splits. The newest member of Norwich Zoo, Frank, is said to be in especially high spirits...

Ha I knew it. Pesky virgin pilots cant keep their own bananas in their pants!

The End