Day 3 - French robots

Day 3 - caution will contain moaning...

Not content with the knowledge that i struggle to order bread, I woke very late (mmmm happy lie in) and was faced with an odd text massage suggesting I call a number to recredit phone, and my internet not working. Ok newly resourceful Maria can cope with this, I will just take it back to the shop and use my new French. Below is a play script of said act:

Maria: "jai une broken internet" (crazy woman points at wireless thing)

Shop man: grunt, snatch, takes it apart, types something into computer "vous avez 0 credit" man shrugs, and points to booklet which says in french buy more credit for €20

Maria: gasp.."how? bought on mardi per une month" look of horror on face

Shop man: "0 credit Madame"

Maria: "Facebook did it?" Puzzled face

Shop man: "non" blank face

Maria: "Skype did it?"

Shop man: "Oui, grand user" makes big hand gesture to help dim english lady

Maria: "so Facebook good (thumb up), Skype bad (thumb down)"

Shop man: "Oui" (man wonders to himself how this particular specimen managed to escape the evolutionary pond)

Maria: smiles meekly, "so...?"

Shop man: "blaa blaa blaa book shop credit" points away from his shop.

Ok so the last bit was not actually said but that is what Maria hears, and so potters off insearch of a book shop to buy credit. Has no luck, so shows wirelss thing to stranger who directs her back to orange shop.

Shop man rolls eyes, ends his personal call and draws map for stupid english lady. Points at car, road, and left. Maria grasps she has to get in the car and drive left to unknown place that sells credit (marked as a square on the map). Maria does this, stops asks another stranger,  who says "non comprende". After aimless wandering about looking for the right square, Maria gets back in car, finds her way home via bakery for cereal baguette (which she buys in flawless french), asks baker about mobile phone text, who says call number...erm that means speaking to French people or robots over the phone!

Ok so I must stop talking about myself in the third person. I consoled myself with cheese and bread and made the call. Randomly pressed numbers if I understood a single word of the robot conversation and at one point wonder, while typing in my debit cards long number whether I might be mistakenly requesting a few million pounds worth of credit? Given how little is in the account i decide to continue until iv pressed all the buttons and the phone hangs up on me. Text comes through to say phone is valid until Nov 2013 hmmm great but does it have credit on it?

Decide to eat more bread, and notice tablet internet has fixed itself! Conclude speaking French is not all its cracked up to be, and spend what little of the day is left reading my book in the sun :-)

Oh also realised shops close at lunch time ( I did know this but had forgot), market was only on a tuesday and thus I should have bought food, and bought Stinkie the worst birthday card she is ever likely to receive (not that I have worked out how to post it!)

Also snail news: he is still recouperating in snail hospital. He seems happy and the grass appears shorter.

Anyway most importantly, im alive and my freckles are slowly converging into a tan.

Bonsoir xxx