Our Weekly meeting - thats more of a quartely thing...dogs, cows and cob bread

So its 6am and with my boys snuggled up in bed upstairs, I've squeezed out of my slither to come and give you an update on our very successful 'weekly' meeting that actually is more of a quarterly thing (given it took place in July!) that we still haven't got round to repeating, as we can still presume Markles is at home with Jasper and I'm at the gallery sneaking cake. Actually on closer inspections both are realities not presumptions (note permanent mud stains and Jasper fur on Markles as proof of bonding time; and crumbs, muffin tops and sugar induced bounciness from Maria in the gallery).

To save you having to flick between the two blog entries to have some idea of what I'm going on about, I've just added a reality check to the bottom of each agenda point.

Our Agenda:

1. Jasper
2. Holiday
3. Money
4. Moose
5. AOB

Already we are stumbling as other couples discuss weekly evening plans, fun times, relationship things etc. We struggled to come up with 5 things and added Moose to the agenda.

So issue 1. Jasper

After a very brief nod that Jasper who had just accidentally spunked on our bed while chewing on my tights was obviously well and happy. The discussion progressed onto the getting Jasper a friend. I have long been pro another dog, and Mark is in the opposite camp. We thus handled the argument like grown ups and drew up a table:

Pros	Cons
Jasper friend	More work for Markles (he is semi retired anyway)
Extra Love	More hassle for Markles (though less than a standard job)
Marginal extra destruction	Possible dog conflicts
Marginal extra maintenance	Marginal extra destruction
Marginal extra cost	Marginal extra maintenance
Possible breeding program	Marginal extra cost
Humpy friend for Jasper	Nothing stops Maria nagging for long
Will teach him to share
Sufficient supply of sticks in the garden
Will make Maria happy
Will stop Maria nagging for another dog
Goes part way towards Maria’s plan of being a mad old dog lady
It’s not a cow
It’s not a baby
Jasper is the right age (the breeders told me)

As you can see it was a sure victory for Maria and we will soon be procuring another dog. Markles is not happy with this but the table speaks no lies (despite what Markles may say).



Action - Buy 2nd dog

Reality - I am still nagging for another dog and have escalated my barmyness by trying to persuade Markles that it would be a good idea for us to have a small holding, despite our inability to grow stuff, and my sadness at the thought of having to eat Dexter our cow, Mavis and Morris our pet pigs, Cluck McDuck, Waddle and Wherry our pet ducks.

Sanity speaking to Markles (say in loud, measured and authoritative voice of reason) - the smallholding is a bad idea, just let her have another dog, and you can string out cow buying for another couple of years...she may grow tired...but not likely

Issue 2 - Holidays


Ok so despite both loving travelling and wanting to visit every continent there are a few undeniable problems with Crutchley holidays:

• Maria always gets ill
• Maria never takes time off
• Maria can’t take time off
• Holidays are expensive

Thus to tackle this we came up with the following solutions:

• Take short breaks when Maria has 2 days off in a row
• Maria has emailed over the Rota for Markles information
• Take 2 weeks off in November ( 1 week in Norwich - which will be cheaper and where illness will hopefully come out before main holiday - 1 week in Marrakesh)
• Possible holiday in August if new recruit found

Action - eat vitamins, stay aways from lurgies, book something and make the most of it regardless


Reality  - Maria has just handed in her notice, so until I've set up my own business (which will result in never having a holiday again) or found a new job, I will have holiday abundance! 

So yay I did extremely well on this one. I've been taking two day stints, sleeping at Horsey beach, sleeping in the car at Yarmouth (supposedly a bad idea but I was OK) and having fun pottering about. Markles has a better idea than I do of when I'm off work. I managed to book a 10 day holiday in November ( to stay near Plymouth - so not quite Marrakesh - but still it's a holiday!) before deciding to leave/ The August holiday was a pipe dream, but I do now have a lovely new team :)

Issue 3 - Money

3.1 Maria has no clue about how money comes in or out of the house, it must be magic!

3.2 Pension man wants to talk to Maria, Maria only knows she wants to be a mad old dog lady with sufficient funds for this aim.

3.3 How to spend Marias incremental earnings (Markles birthday present took the majority. Correction all of it, Markles has just explained evil tax system!)

Action:

• Markles to educate Maria on monetary flows of household
• Maria to schedule meeting (ermm next year? – boring meeting – thus highlighting why Maria has no idea)
• Markles to provide pension wisdom and attempt to realign Maria’s old age life plan to something more sane. (Markles has suggested I become a mad old bag lady – thus I replied for practise I need a new mulberry. Markle’s shakes head and draws my attention to point 3.1 – Maria’s lack of household money knowledge.

Side note – Maria is having fun and exclaims, “this is fun we should have a weekly meeting more often”.

Mark replies “what like every week you mean”

Reality - 

3.1 Markles made a little spreadsheet to illustrate money flows that even Maria could understand. Maria has just buggered up money flow by resigning. Maria is getting baked beans and bread for xmas (hope its one of those posh cob loaves from M&S!)

3.2 Maria visited Pension man, exclaimed she wanted to be a mad old dog lady asap - he said what 52? Maria said nah how about 30? Pension man thought Maria was joking - silly  pension man. Maria has now lost pension so will have to wander streets for homeless dogs and find food in bins. Unless business takes off, in which case, I will probably still wander streets looking for homeless dogs, and then give them a life of luxury - doggy cuddles, homemade biscuits, their own sofa...Jasper will illustrate how to lead luxury life.

3.3. Just left job - no incremental earnings, in fact no earnings at all! Need to learn to be self sufficient on minimal money - great I love a challenge :) I will make homemade pizza and cake for anyone who can teach me how to:

• grow veggies
• make my own clothes
• fix things
• make a little cob den for the garden with a wood burner so I don't freeze in Markles house/freezer

Issue 4 - Moose

Found on pants; and undies. Maria needs to go on holiday to (cold) location in order to see moose in the wild. Maria wishes they lived in hot places. To see baby moose and mummy moose in wild would be amazing!!! Markles is bragging cause he has seen it. Stupid Markles.

Action - Buy 2 teddy moose and use icing sugar to create 'cold' habitat. Maria to observe through kitchen window

Reality - OMG how could I have forgotten to do this! Next day off this is being done!!!!

Issue 5 - AOB

Meeting suspended while Markles watches the Tour de France. Stupid Markles.

Markles comes back and suggests we have covered a lot of stuff and we dont want to burn ourselves out.

Action - next meeting scheduled for next very bored evening (sometime next week preferably)

Meeting adjourned.

 Maria and Markles


Hmmm I am wondering if Markles will want another meeting, after reading this blog. If yes I will have to check my diary as I appear to have a lot of cake sneaking in the gallery planned...

All encouragement for barmy plans is welcome :)

Have a great day, Maria xxx 

Trials and Tribulations of a Jasper hot water bottle

After losing poor Lion on a cold wintry night, I was faced with two options:

1. Freeze
2. Encourage Jasper to be my replacement hot water bottle

Given Jasper noses me awake every morning at 5am for an under blankie cuddle, I knew the latter shouldn't be too hard.

It was an interesting night, and I have tried my best to re-enact the nights 'sleep'

All happily snuggled - ready for a long sleep :)

Jasper took up a normal amount of bed, and allowed me the blankie

but then he changed his mind and thought a hot water bottle was more 
efficient if it lay on top of you

and being a little nocturnal, he woke mummy for night time games

With doe eyes like this I couldn't say no

And I soon found myself minus blankie or much bed

And woke to find Jasper's toy (a huge lump of quartz) had 
attacked me in the night!

And so yes, as much as Jasper is wonderfully warm, my sleep was rather disturbed and I will be happy to snuggle down with lion again :)

 

Have a great day :) xxx

Maria and Markles have a meeting...

So I've been reading 'Red' magazine for middle aged women who desires to learn about life past 35, gum disease and tesco nappy vouchers. Within all that goodness I also came across an article on weekly relationship meetings. In our hectic lives how can we be expected to know/remember what the other half is doing. Supposedly it is not sufficient to just presume they are at home with Jasper or at the gallery sneaking cake.


Well we need to know this for definate and given we are a pair of sadcases with nothing better to do on a Sunday evening we (well I) decided to schedule our first weekly meeting.

Our Agenda:

1. Jasper
2. Holiday
3. Money
4. Moose
5. AOB

Already we are stumbling as other couples discuss weekly evening plans, fun times, relationship things etc. We struggled to come up with 5 things and added Moose to the agenda.

So issue 1. Jasper

After a very brief nod that Jasper who had just accidently spunked on our bed while chewing on my tights was obviously well and happy. The discussion progressed onto the getting Jasper a friend. I have long been pro another dog, and Mark is in the opposite camp. We thus handled the argument like grown ups and drew up a table:

Pros	Cons
Jasper friend	More work for Markles (he is semi retired anyway)
Extra Love	More hassle for Markles (though less than a standard job)
Marginal extra destruction	Possible dog conflicts
Marginal extra maintenance	Marginal extra destruction
Marginal extra cost	Marginal extra maintenance
Possible breeding program	Marginal extra cost
Humpy friend for Jasper	Nothing stops Maria nagging for long
Will teach him to share
Sufficient supply of sticks in the garden
Will make Maria happy
Will stop Maria nagging for another dog
Goes part way towards Maria’s plan of being a mad old dog lady
It’s not a cow
It’s not a baby
Jasper is the right age (the breeders told me)

As you can see it was a sure victory for Maria and we will soon be procuring another dog. Markles is not happy with this but the table speaks no lies (despite what Markles may say).



Action - Buy 2nd dog


Issue 2 - Holidays


Ok so despite both loving travelling and wanting to visit every continent there are a few undeniable problems with Crutchley holidays:

• Maria always gets ill
• Maria never takes time off
• Maria can’t take time off
• Holidays are expensive

Thus to takle this we came up with the following solutions:

• Take short breaks when Maria has 2 days off in a row
• Maria has emailed over the Rota for Markles information
• Take 2 weeks off in November ( 1 week in Norwich - which will be cheaper and where illness will hopfully come out before main holiday - 1 week in Marrakesh)
• Possible holiday in August if new recruit found

Action - eat vitamins, stay aways from lurgies, book something and make the most of it regardless

Issue 3 - Money

3.1 Maria has no clue about how money comes in or out of the house, it must be magic!

3.2 Pension man wants to talk to Maria, Maria only knows she wants to be a mad old dog lady with sufficient funds for this aim.

3.3 How to spend Marias incremental earnings (Markles birthday present took the majority. Correction all of it, Markles has just explained evil tax system!)

Action:

• Markles to educate Maria on monetary flows of household
• Maria to schedule meeting (ermm next year? – boring meeting – thus highlighting why Maria has no idea)
• Markles to provide pension wisdom and attempt to realign Maria’s old age life plan to something more sane. (Markles has suggested I become a mad old bag lady – thus I replied for practise I need a new mulberry. Markle’s shakes head and draws my attention to point 3.1 – Maria’s lack of household money knowledge.

Side note – Maria is having fun and exclaims, “this is fun we should have a weekly meeting more often”.

Mark replies “what like every week you mean”


Issue 4 - Moose

Found on pants; and undies. Maria needs to go on holiday to (cold) location in order to see moose in the wild. Maria wishes they lived in hot places. To see baby moose and mummy moose in wild would be amazing!!! Markles is bragging cause he has seen it. Stupid Markles.

Action - Buy 2 teddy moose and use icing sugar to create 'cold' habitat. Maria to observe through kitchen window

Issue 5 - AOB

Meeting suspended while Markles watches the Tour de France. Stupid Markles.

Markles comes back and suggests we have covered a lot of stuff and we dont want to burn ourselves out.

Action - next meeting scheduled for next very bored evening (sometime next week preferably)

Meeting adjourned.

 Maria and Markles

10k and a running orangutan!

Yay I did it! All the early starts and training paid off and I finished my 10k run in 58 minutes. The other runners did amazingly well, all completing their 20k run on time and without complaint - just super! Must praise our support team too, as the driving and constant cycle support kept us motivated and well fuelled.

If I am honest I had woken with stiff legs following Thursday 8 mile walk and 1 hour fitness class but being rather headstrong when things need doing, it seemed to disappear as soon as I started the run, and then it was just positive thinking and remembering its only a case of one foot in front of the other :)

Upon completing my next surprise was due to the two designated orangutan's being too tall, my rather shorter legs were going to run another 1.2km all dressed up. I would like to say that Sandra and I made a brilliant pair and fully enjoyed monkeying around!

So far we have raised just over £600, but with offline sponsors as well, we are hoping to cross the £1,000 mark.

Thanks to everyone who sponsored us, and its not too late to still do so:

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=NorfolkLoopGoldChallenge&isTeam=true

A well earned rest today, with the most strenuous exercise planned being lifting the odd painting and remote control :)

Take care,

Maria xx

Jaspers first jog with mummy

Well I am three weeks into the training and its fair to say I have used the fact my treadmill broke, as an excuse not to train but don't fear, ever the daft optimist I have forced myself back into my trainers.

Markles and his friend have organised a sponsored relay run of 201.2km around Norfolk in aid of Greenpeace. He had a team of 10 runners each doing 20k, until one confessed to not having done enough training. Silly me comes to the rescue and says no worries if your desperate I can split the leg. So I will be doing my first 10k run on Saturday 2nd June. What Mark forgot to tell me until 2 nights ago was that my leg starts at 2am! Given I need 10 hours sleep to operate like a normal human and 11pm is considered very late, it will be interesting to see whether my legs run faster in the knowledge that the sooner they finish the quicker they can go to bed :)

Like a good girl, my alarm went off at 5:45am and Jasper and I set off on a training jog to Whitlingham. Bless him Jasper was most bemused, but equally happy not to have to go in the car. As I jabbered onto him about the importance of a consistent pace and asked him not to stop and sniff everything as the stop/start approach resulted in a bad running style, we soon got into a flow and happily jogged along listening to the birds and looking at the dappled shadows. It was really rather beautiful, especially compared to the garage wall I usually look at while running.

 I must confess though I had a hidden agenda in bringing Jasper, you see the last bit of the planned run is a long stretch UP Bracondale, which is bad enough to walk. I was rather hoping Jasper would pull me up if I was tired. The reality however is that I pulled him up, but hey its just another form of exercise :)

To conclude I did 3.5 miles in 35 minutes. The longest I have ever run...until Saturday that is!

Do sponsor me if you can, it would be nice to know the polar bears get a longer lie in even if I don't.


http://www.goldchallenge.org/gc/team/Norfolk%20Loop

Now whereas Jasper is crashed out, I have to get my bum in gear and go to work. Have a great day!

No scone + rain = sad Maria

Day 3 - Well what a wash out day. I overslept and missed my swim, so felt naughty from the off. Then pottered down town with happy dreams of buying even more shoes, but at the crucial moment resisted. A coffee with friend, where I had to endure watching him eat what he assured me was a truly wonderful scone and then a wizz back on the bike to eat snack-ca-jacks and an apple for lunch - wow riveting! What I need to find is some sort of low fat wheat free cake and fast. My cake withdrawals are causing me to be sad :(

On the plus though being stuck in the house due to the rain meant I finally sorted my wardrobe and now have 3 bin bags of assorted shoes, handbags and clothes to take to the charity shop. I also had a lovely lounge about reading a great book on art history (nerdy I know) and then at 9pm forced myself out of my nightie and into my running gear to face the garage torture equipment. It has decided to break....more fiddling required and I got it fixed....23 minutes into my 25 minute run and the belt just stops mid flow. Had Markles not be there to grab me I would have been sent flying!

Hmmm so maria the mechanic will need to have another look and try and fix it. Fingers crossed I haven't bought a second hand dud :(

Boom Chack-ca-la-ca!

OK so its day 2 of my adventure into the world of running and after a long day at work, and a lovely glass of wine after work with an old friend, did I really want to hop on the running machine to do my 15 minuets  - well no actually I didn't. But being a good girl I forced myself off the sofa.

3 minutes into my run and I'm conscious that my short attention span may cause me problems, especially in later weeks when I have to run for longer. How do I know this? For some unknown reason I had started singing - Boom chack-ca-la-ca repeatedly and in time to my running step. Honestly I can't remember ever having sang those strange words ever before! However once aware of this I decided it would be fun to try and swing my arms in time and do a sort of jog dance....I'm not sure it will take off, it is rather cumbersome and in the end I decided it was best to stick to just singing my daft song. Well it helped me get through it and the silly song is still stuck in my head 2 hours later. Boom chack-ca-la-ca-la-ca!

Haha I have just googled Boom chack-ca-la-ca and found out what distant memory my brain had dug up. What my mind appears to be thinking about it is Boom Shaka Laka by Apache Indians. It says something about my mind that the closest version to how I was singing it is the Muppet Treasure Island version!

Now there is a random trip down memory lane! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=peJhJMciSXE

Enjoy :)

Another daft idea....

Well you all know me and my daft hair brained ideas, well I've had another one. This one though has come out of a good cause, a slight panic on reading an old 'things to do before I'm 30' list and a virtual kick up the bum from some old friends.

Those alert and eagle eyed facebook friends may have spotted a couple of odd status updates, hinting at training and a possible end to naughtiness (again - really the cake will never cease to rule my life). Well here it is....on the 30th of May I signed myself up to run the London Marathon 2013.

OK so yes I can't actully run, and the longest distance / race I have ever managed was a santa run around Eaton Park, but hey, lots of people manage it dressed as various random creatures, so there is a small possibility, if I get accepted ( I wont find out until early October) that I could finish it. I've taken the plunge, there is no going back,and the training has begun. Oh yes and I'm obviously doing the beginners training plan.

Only 348 days until race day!

Oh and I won't be too cheeky and ask for sponsorship now but I will hopefully be raising money for The British Heart foundation, as they did a good job of helping patch me up, and look after my late grandad.

Day 1

In another blog entry I will tell you the story of how the treadmill came to live with me, and how I ended up stuck out in the freezing cold garage but for now....heres my first ever training session:

On the left - how I should be feeling prior to my first run, on the right how I actually felt - cold!

How to turn the treadmill on....5 minutes later....how to speed the treadmill up.....15 minutes later and 1.6 miles completed. Yay and a mini whoop, I have ran a little!

Follow this with a healthy fish supper and a couple of bicep curls and I'm feeling positive....haha its only day 1!

In fairness another thing I'm not great at is keeping to these hairbrained ideas, and as especially daft as this one sounds I think this one is worth sticking too. However to make it more fun for you I am going to run a sweep stake on how long it will be until I give up. The winner will get a lovely bottle of wine from our wine closet :)
Markles guess - April 22nd - aww bless, you got to love him (race day is April 21st)

Now for some possibly more realistic ones? Nah honestly he is going to win the wine and fingers crossed let me share it!

Roll on tomorrows fun :)