Story 1
Mrs Wicken gazed at the lump in the straw suspiciously, it was not Mr Wicken's usual toilet spot and so she wondered what on earth it could be. Wait a minute it just moved! Now that really was strange. A wriggly little poo? The more it wriggled the more it got covered in straw until it looked like a spiky little conker shell.
"Mr Wicken's!" yelled Mrs Wicken's. "Come explain this wandering spiky yellow poo"
Well Mr Wicken's was as taken aback as Mrs Wicken's. "I promise you chickypoo I haven't eaten anything that could give me that dicky a tummy".
"Cheep" said the scurrying spikey yellow poo. Bashing into another straw bale in blind haste.
"Talking spikey yellow poo!" said Mrs Wicken's. She was having quite a blond moment. Poor baby Wicken's had transformed beyond all recognition.
Story 2
Oh my god! Look at that SLUGH cried Mrs Bear - NOW what are we going to do? Slugh? Whats a slugh? Quick to the google machine. Maria typed frantically but to no avail the words meaning evaded her. Perhaps it had something to do with that lovely place Slough? Were they known to Slugh? Or perhaps even Slur? Maybe a negative comment directed at Slough is known as a Slugh?
Slightly chuffed with herself for creating a new definition Maria plonked the giant Collins dictionary on the table and looked up the chaps name who made it. I'm sure the people of Slough would love my new word to be in the next edition! Ever the optimist she wrote to the publisher the very same day. Of course she had to add some examples of the words use:
1. Slough is a dump
2. Slough has lots of ploughs and likes to play with cows
Well how rude said the publisher we wouldn't want to encourage these slanderous words against the beautiful and culturally diverse Slough!
And so Maria's definition was forgotten except in her head. And although it was naughty she smiled when she thought of a bad thing about Slough.
Story 3
"Hmmm, Writer's chalk, that sounds useful" - Maria poked it experimentally wondering if it was edible. A quick lick to get the creative juices flowing. Urghh! gross, OK so it is not edible. I know I will smear it on my head and then my mind will absorb its special powers. Markles walks in to find his wife with a white head sucking on a pencil. "Honestly darling I thought you were sane when I married you". Startled Maria spins round. "I was in the 'zone', dreaming of creativity". I repeat "I thought you were sane when I married you". Shaking his head with happy disdain Markles walked away leaving Maria on her imaginary cloud of thoughts.
Story 4
"Today," said Maria to her reflection in the mirror, "I am going to shock the world!" I have had a yes week but it was challenging enough. I want more!! I will systematically think of all the things people wouldn't expect little old me to do.
- Die hair purple and cut into mohecan - add glitter and stars for girly touch
- Denounce all clothes, none of them suit me anyway, nudey is the way forward
- Order KFC because it is finger licking good no matter what the greenies may tell me
- From my headquarters - bed; I will hack the Internet sites of the BBC and other major TV people and broadcast my evil plan
- Unbeknowst to everyone, I am a genius at physics and such stuff. By rolling under my bed and lifting a 'lost' shoe you will find a secret button to my laboratory. Password = where's your shoe mate?
- he he he, just thinking of my mischief has me excited! For I have been busy this last year. Not baking but making! A GIANT ELECTROFIA.
- By pretending I fancied the head boffin at NASA I snuck it up into space and attached it to the whole earth, like a head brace.
- The super sun charged (oh yes renewable evil power) GIANT ELECTROFIA is going to shock the world!!!
- You ready to feel the buzz world?
I realise that these stories are very odd, and it does make me question what on earth goes on in my head, but hey its all good fun. I will complete more hotpenning soon. Thanks again Lizzy, and more are always welcome
BIG sigh of contentment! I really enjoyed these! They were SUCH fun. You are QUITE, QUITE barking and so I think we're going to be really good friends! ;) Ok lots of comments to make now - all in one box!:
ReplyDeleteStory 1:
I loved Mr Wicken's name for Mrs Wicken!!! and "come and explain this spiky yellow poo" - fantastic! Such a clever idea. Makes me wish we could have small spikey yellow (well in our case black brown and white!) poos! Baby chickypoos!
Story 2:
Loved Slugh! Wondered what you would come up with - that's what makes it so exciting! Very clever! and the last 2 sentences were just beautiful!
Story 3:
LOVE your little pictures by the way! Maria dreaming of creativity, covered in writer's chalk - wonderful! But I have to say - I am worried about Mark's powers of observation in the story - or did you perhaps wiat til after the wedding to show your true colours?! ;) Nick still worries about this.... as we're not married yet -what else might I be hiding?!
Story 4:
ooh box might run out - will do new comment!
Whizzy x
Oh! and I forgot to say - about SLUGH! YOu might have wondered where it was from. I had just finished making a comment on your blog and had to do the google security thing where you have to type the word they show - which was of course.... Slugh!
ReplyDeleteSo... where was I? Story 4 - ah yes - a work of genius! Your evil plan for the world which ended up benefitting the lovely Alice...! Quite crackers but I loved it! So creative.
Oh - and 'nudey is the way forward' had me on the floor! I also loved the way this got more and more barking as the story progressed til it went right off the richter scale and ended up with Alice and her washing machine!
Oh this was a VERY fun thing to do! Will have to give you more! Am also curious to have a go myself - so please feel free to post some sentences on my page when you get a mo between pretend christmas dinner and the pretend washing up! ;)
tee hee!
Lizzybear
Its has been such fun writing them, thank you so much! Yes I am definately barking mad, so we are well matched :)
ReplyDeleteStory 1 - A very odd idea I know, rather gross in a way. I would love to see baby chicks! I am sure you would be a lovely grandma to them.
Story 2 - Thanks, I will never think of Slough the same again. Ha ha a security check - perfect example of inspiration coming from anywhere.
Story 3 - Poor Mark obviously didn't quite believe how mad I was, although I think I may be getting increasingly crazy. I am sure Nick loves you for your odd ways.
Story 4 - My favourite I think. It really could go in any direction and be as bizarre as I wanted. Lucky old Alice ;)
Will certainly pop some sentences on your blog.
Thanks again for all the fun x