Hotpenning Fun

Firstly I must say a huge thank you to Lizzy for giving me all those sentences to work on. I know it has taken a little while but here you go. Hope you like them!

Story 1

Mrs Wicken gazed at the lump in the straw suspiciously, it was not Mr Wicken's usual toilet spot and so she wondered what on earth it could be. Wait a minute it just moved! Now that really was strange. A wriggly little poo? The more it wriggled the more it got covered in straw until it looked like a spiky little conker shell.

"Mr Wicken's!" yelled Mrs Wicken's. "Come explain this wandering spiky yellow poo"

Well Mr Wicken's was as taken aback as Mrs Wicken's. "I promise you chickypoo I haven't eaten anything that could give me that dicky a tummy".
"Cheep" said the scurrying spikey yellow poo. Bashing into another straw bale in blind haste.
"Talking spikey yellow poo!" said Mrs Wicken's. She was having quite a blond moment. Poor baby Wicken's had transformed beyond all recognition. 

Story 2

Oh my god! Look at that SLUGH cried Mrs Bear - NOW what are we going to do? Slugh? Whats a slugh? Quick to the google machine. Maria typed frantically but to no avail the words meaning evaded her. Perhaps it had something to do with that lovely place Slough? Were they known to Slugh? Or perhaps even Slur? Maybe a negative comment directed at Slough is known as a Slugh?

Slightly chuffed with herself for creating a new definition Maria plonked the giant Collins dictionary on the table and looked up the chaps name who made it. I'm sure the people of Slough would love my new word to be in the next edition! Ever the optimist she wrote to the publisher the very same day. Of course she had to add some examples of the words use:

1. Slough is a dump
2. Slough has lots of ploughs and likes to play with cows

Well how rude said the publisher we wouldn't want to encourage these slanderous words against the beautiful and culturally diverse Slough!
And so Maria's definition was forgotten except in her head. And although it was naughty she smiled when she thought of a bad thing about Slough. 

Story 3

"Hmmm, Writer's chalk, that sounds useful" - Maria poked it experimentally wondering if it was edible. A quick lick to get the creative juices flowing. Urghh! gross, OK so it is not edible. I know I will smear it on my head and then my mind will absorb its special powers. Markles walks in to find his wife with a white head sucking on a pencil. "Honestly darling I thought you were sane when I married you". Startled Maria spins round. "I was in the 'zone', dreaming of creativity". I repeat "I thought you were sane when I married you". Shaking his head with happy disdain Markles walked away leaving Maria on her imaginary cloud of thoughts.

Story 4

"Today," said Maria to her reflection in the mirror, "I am going to shock the world!" I have had a yes week but it was challenging enough. I want more!! I will systematically think of all the things people wouldn't expect little old me to do. 

1. Die hair purple and cut into mohecan - add glitter and stars for girly touch
2. Denounce all clothes, none of them suit me anyway, nudey is the way forward
3. Order KFC because it is finger licking good no matter what the greenies may tell me
4. From my headquarters - bed; I will hack the Internet sites of the BBC and other major TV people and broadcast my evil plan
5. Unbeknowst to everyone, I am a genius at physics and such stuff. By rolling under my bed and lifting a 'lost' shoe you will find a secret button to my laboratory. Password = where's your shoe mate?
6. he he he, just thinking of my mischief has me excited! For I have been busy this last year. Not baking but making! A GIANT ELECTROFIA. 
7. By pretending I fancied the head boffin at NASA I snuck it up into space and attached it to the whole earth, like a head brace.
8. The super sun charged (oh yes renewable evil power) GIANT ELECTROFIA is going to shock the world!!!
9. You ready to feel the buzz world?

Suddenly all across the world, people shuddered at a sharp twinge that went through their bodies. Jellies shook with extra vigour, rattles rattled until they could rattle no more. Indeed the rattle snakes tail fell right off. But there was one smiling face. Sat on a washing machine in Dorset, Alice's face was a picture. "Golly gosh that was brilliant!".

I realise that these stories are very odd, and it does make me question what on earth goes on in my head, but hey its all good fun. I will complete more hotpenning soon. Thanks again Lizzy, and more are always welcome 

Mad Maria xxx