The Vanity of Iguana's

Another long spell without writing on my blog, but better late than never. Keen to whip myself into action I have started on three new courses, TEFL, Drawing and the focus of this blog - Creative Writing.

It really surprises me how easily very odd things that spring together into a surreal but coherent story. One of our warm up exercises resulted in one of my best bits of writing so far. I really encourage others to give it a go.

Step 1 - Think of 10-12 categories e.g. Towns, Furniture, Reptiles, Celebrities etc

Step 2 - Think and write down one example for each of these categories. the first thing that comes to mind e.g. Norwich, Table, Iguana, Bruce Willis etc

Step 3 - The aim is to use all the examples you came up with. Set an alarm for 10mins and start writing!

Tip. Don't worry about what you are writing, just go with what ever flows it doesn't have to make sense. Have fun with it.

Here is my attempt:

Towns/Cities = Norwich
Reptile = Iguana
Street = Bracondale
Desert = Antarctica
Item of Clothing = Bobble Hat
Pudding = Jam Roly Poly
Vegetable = Pumpkin
Sea = Irish
Job = Detective
Celebrity = Laurence Luellen Bowen
Pet = Rat
Furniture = Dressing Table
Illness = Alzheimer's


Jasmina stared into the mirror, and basked at her wonderful reflection. She was without doubt the most beautiful iguana, and she knew it. Her dressing room had been personally designed by Laurence Luellen Bowen and her vintage 50's dressing table with its large round mirror and symmetrical spacious drawers was the centre piece. She sat for hours on the plump velvet stool surrounded by the potions and make up that her natural beauty didn't really require.

Her home in Norwich, on the most prestigious of streets, Bracondale, had its handful of characters. Roddy was one of them. Although a rat he had the panache of a lion and paraded himself about. He invited himself in everywhere and to everything. Irish by birth he had travelled far and wide, doing various work as a detective and spy for MI5. On clapping sight of Jasmina he saw her for what she was; a vain and shallow excuse of a life form.

You are wasted in front of the mirror, travel with me. Broaden your horizons. Antarctica, Peru, India. You can eat jam roly poly in Scotland, Pumpkin soup in Mexico. I will buy you the finest alpaca bobble hat.

To Jasmina it was just babble. It was widely know Roddy was suffering from Alzheimer's. The tales he told could or may not be reality. Memories or a desperate jigsaw of what may have been. No she was quite happy in front of the mirror.


Very odd I know, but great fun and it made a few people giggle. Do let me know if you give it a go and how you got on!

Maria xxx